I remember Day 3 in Thailand. In the comfort of the Golden Dragon (hotel), with A/C, wifi and 60+ other individuals all going through the same crazy range of emotions. Adjusting to time changes, trying different Thai dishes (besides Pad Thai and Pad See Ewe), slowly learning about each other while trying to figure out our place in this new country.
I remember Day 30.. reaching that 1 month mark. Starting to feel a little more comfortable and familiar with the language, with my host family, with Singburi (our training location). I remember thinking it was all so new, so scary, so overwhelming and yet so intriguing.
And now we are here, at Day 300. I am closer to the 1 year mark than the beginning, and so many of my feelings have changed. Reading through past entries in my journal I notice a range of emotions starting off with trying to be positive to becoming progressively more and more negative. I’m trying. This is hard. But I think I’m on the way back up this roller coaster ride.
Today is the first time that I have felt like I am doing what I came here to do. Today, Day 300, has been a good day. Definitely not without it’s obstacles, but also with it’s rewards and feelings of positivity and productivity.
Rather than take the lead for each class, my counterpart followed suit and led our second class together on her own and she did SO well. I was so proud of her and so happy to see that she has been soaking it all in this whole time, implementing some of the techniques I had used in previous classes and reading from her notes she had taken from me teaching.
I was so stressed out for so long, thinking negatively about my hard work going nowhere but turns out there was no reason for it. Turns out all it took was for me to switch up the strategy a little and use a little communication. This has been one of my hardest struggles and today I can say that it has all been worth it, getting to see my counterpart shine in class and have fun doing it too. I feel like we are on the right track! And maybe we always have been. Maybe I just need to kick myself in the ass and remind myself to continue being patient and continue putting in the effort without complaining.
And maybe Day 333 we will veer a little off track. Maybe we will crash and burn. Or maybe it will be another successful day. Who knows? All I know is that today was a good day. And it’s time for me to get out of this negative slump. I’m sure it will be back.. but for now, I’m going to ride this wave and try and be thankful more than anything. Thankful for my Counterparts willingness to try, thankful that I get this opportunity to try, as well. And hopeful that this will continue on.
Note To Self: Take It Easy, it’s going to be okay.
Until next time, Su Su my friends!