I Love the Sea and she loves Me

Let’s talk about water.

A couple weekends back I was on vacation with some of my fellow PCVs. Everything started off wonderfully. We got lunch by the beach, got drinks and spent our time in the sun, laughing and loving life. Then came Day 2.. I’m not sure if it was the after effects of drinking, the lack of money I had or hormones, but a deep unsettling feeling of anxiety came over me. Naturally, I sucked it up and tried to ride the wave.

Until I was actually in the waves; swimming in the Andaman Sea, letting the water take me away and splash around me, sometimes splashing over me and pushing me down, causing me to laugh so much from the sheer abruptness of it. And in that moment: I felt free. All anxiety washed away, figuratively of course, but literally by the water. Even as a rain storm threatened to come in I couldn’t leave the water, because I felt safe and happy right where I was.. bouncing along with the waves. Feeling weightless, in all aspects of the word.
I remember being young and spending all of my time in the water. I used to hold my breath, go under, and spin around in the deep end like I was Sailor Moon changing into her sailor suit. (Don’t make fun of me, you WISH you could be Sailor Moon). Of course there were the daydreams of being a mermaid and swimming at the bottom of the Ocean, too.
My first experience in the waves was probably one of our many trips to Miami while growing up. Followed by seven years of living in San Diego and frequenting the beach. I worked a lot to make ends meet in California, which means not as much beach time as I wanted. But, every chance I got to go and float in the waves made it all worth it. When I’m in the water, and I’m weightless, care-free… that’s where I’m the happiest.
There’s also something so intriguing and ultimately terrifying about the Ocean. The fact that we may never know what lies deep down… how old some of the things might be down there. How huge it all is and how it makes you realize how small we really are. The ocean has been the one thing in life that fascinates me and terrifies me at the same time.

I’ve always felt a deep connection with the water, and I think the Universe was looking out for me when it placed me in the South of Thailand, near so many beautiful beaches and access to my favorite get-a-ways. And for that I am very thankful.

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