I had a moment the other day… where I realized that all of this, my time in Thailand, is temporary. 7 months have passed. I’m already in the months where I will only have one more after these.. (only one more April, May, June, July… ).
I spend a lot of my time counting down the months, but something shifted my perspective the other day. I realized that my time here is fleeting. After these 2 years I will never get to see the cute little smiley faces that greet me as I ride my bike into school everyday. I won’t get to see the kind people that work at the little coffee shop down the street. I will never get to have a Thai Iced Tea as delicious as one here. All of my time in Thailand will be done.
And it made me really sad.
I spend so much time stuck in the negative feelings that I forgot to realize that once I leave Thailand, all of the good feelings will go away, too.
It was kind of an eye-opening perspective. You can’t have the good without the bad. And when I leave Thailand, I won’t dwell on the struggles I had. Instead, I’ll remember my students that started opening up and speaking more English to me. I’ll remember my kind host family who gifted me things for my rental and took me out to Roti often. I’ll remember the lady who works at my favorite little restaurant, always asking me about my life.
And I’ll miss them all so much.
I was having a tough time about a month ago. A really tough time. A “I don’t think I can make it” kind of a time. But lately my perspective has been shifting. Things are still hard, but I’m starting to notice more and more the things that make me happy. Things that I will only experience here in Thailand. And although I have 20 months left in my service, a tiny part of me is already starting to miss it.
Time to soak it all in while I can.