Small Girl, Big (Scary, yet Wonderful) World

I’ve been avoiding a lot of the news about what’s going on in America right now. Not avoiding, no, that’s a bad word. Making a conscious effort to not click on the links that I see all over Facebook, because I’m scared to find out what bad is happening and make the realization that I’m too far away to do anything about it.

I don’t get much news of back home here in Thailand. It’s more like I’m living in a nice little Thai bubble where the latest news is how big the spider in a fellow volunteer’s bathroom was or what kind of interesting food they had for dinner.

But I know it’s happening.. and I know it’s not good. It’s a crazy, trying time right now back home. It scares me, really. What kind of country will I be returning to in 2019?

If I’m being honest, the world in general tends to scare me. There are so many horrible, terrible things happening all around the world. Bombings. Terrorism. Wars. Killing. Innocent people dying. It’s all so overwhelming to think about. My heart hurts for our World.

Sometimes I get stuck reading article after article of all the terrible things happening and I can’t help but cry. I wish I could do something to end all suffering but.. how? How can one small, insignificant human out of billions do something to help end all the pain and suffering?

It’s a big question with not really any good answer. Sometimes I feel like there’s nothing that can be done. But I can’t think like that. None of us can. Yes, we may be small and we may only be one person… but imagine if everyone decided not to care? We have to care. We have to try. In any way we can.

I spoke to my mom today on the phone for a little over a half hour. She’s trying to find herself and a way to give back to the world, much like I am. Our conversation led to all the pain and suffering in the world. And she told me, “What you can do, being an American girl in Thailand, is show them that Americans are good. That we want to help and that we regret some of the terrible things that have happened in the past and are trying to change. Show them that you care… be an ambassador for your country.” And she’s right.

It’s small. And some days it may seem insignificant. But it’s all I can do right now. And the thing is, I’m not the only one doing it. There are somewhere around 100 volunteers in Thailand right now. All doing what they can do to represent American Culture in a positive light by giving back to these small Thai communities all over the country. There are a total of 7,213 volunteers in 60 countries throughout our world right now. To me, that’s amazing and no small effort.

And that’s just one organization. Think of how many people are helping in even their own small way through other organizations or even just on their own in their communities.

The world is scary, I’ll give you that. But when I stop and think about all of the like-minded people there are that want to help and give back and try to make a positive change, it makes me realize that the world can be beautiful too. It makes me realize that I’m not alone and no effort is too small.

We’ve got a lot of work to do, there’s no doubting that. But I’ll keep pushing through, doing everything I can in my power to make a positive change. And I  have hope that others will do the same.

Until next time,
Peace, Love & Thailand
– Ang


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