An excerpt from my journal:
“February 18, 2017
Currently sitting in my room (in THAILAND) after drawing and art-ing while watching Almost Famous (hands down one of my top 5 favorite movies). It almost feels like I’m back home.. except that it’s warm as hell, I keep feeling bugs crawling down my shirt & I see geckos climbing the walls out of the corner of my eye. This movie makes me think of how different my life was just a couple years ago: living in San Diego, working by the beach, traveling every few months to follow my favorite artist around and re-unite with the friends I made along the way. I think of the Summer of 2015, when I had to leave my beloved San Diego and the road trip back to IL that ensued. Driving through beautiful Arizona, Utah and Colorado. Finally reaching home and reveling in my unemployment checks. Road tripping to every concert I could that summer before jumping back into the 9-5 world.
I remember winter setting in, along with my seasonal depression. That ever present feeling of just ‘floating.’ Not knowing my true purpose in life but knowing that I was meant for something greater. Feeling like there was so much more to life than my current situation. Merely existing was not an option for me. So, New Years Eve 2015, I took a chance. I applied for Peace Corps after years of promising I eventually would and pushing it back. I applied. And I got accepted. The process was not without complication.
Fast forward one year. Here I am. In Thailand. 4 weeks left of training. 4 weeks until I’m sent off to an unknown province. Location: TBA. With little to no idea of how it’s all going to work out. But I feel it. “What is it?” you may ask. Well, I can’t explain ‘it’, but I feel ‘it’. I know in my heart this is where I want to be and even more so, where I need to be. I am no longer floating. I am here, and I am ready.
To say the journey thus far has been difficult is an understatement. But it’s something that I have truly wanted for years & the fact that it is currently my reality is completely mind blowing. “Just enjoy the ride.” – Russell just said this to Will (still watching Almost Famous). This is how I’ve been feeling lately. This 2 year journey is often compared to a Roller Coaster. You’ve got your ups and downs.. but you just have to Enjoy the Ride!
I don’t know where I’m going after this next month. I won’t find out until March 20th. I don’t know how it will go, who I will get to know or what my journey fully entails. But I do know one thing… It’s All Happening. It’s All Finally Happening! ”